Title: "In Case of Emergency"
Author: monimala
Fandom: VMars
Rating/Classification: SAC, angst/darkfic, AU, LoVe, Lamb/V/Weevil, 700 words.
Disclaimer: They aren't mine and I'm making no profit.
Summary: 7th in the Loserverse series. All she wants is for his nails to dig in.
He is so perfect that she can't stand to look at him anymore. She has to close her eyes when he kisses her so the shine from his newly acquired halo won't blind her.
He touches her like she might break when all she wants is for his nails to dig in, for him to burrow beneath the skin and make her feel something. He's kind. He's respectful. He calls her dad "Sir," and holds the door for her at the beginning and end of every date.
This is not Logan Echolls, she thinks, when his mouth is soft, hesitant, on her neck and she wants to slap her palm against the back window of the XTerra like Rose in "Titanic"…not out of passion, but out of a need to break the glass. This can't be him. Aliens have abducted him and left a conscientious choirboy in his place.
Veronica doesn't want conscience. She doesn't want choirs. And just the thought of angels singing when they kiss makes her lurch backwards from him, half-stumble out of the SUV and lose her dinner-and-a-movie in the sand.
"Veronica! Veronica, are you--?"
"I'm sick!" she gasps, dragging her palm over her sticky mouth, shrugging off his hand. "I'm sick, I'm sick, okay?" And it's true.
Because at 2 a.m., after he's dropped her off and shut the door behind her, she's going to meet two other men…with her eyes wide open.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," he soothes as she begins to laugh--cry, retch, all of the above-- and scrubs her hands not quite clean enough with half the beach.
"No, Logan…no, it's really not."
***
"Do you remember how he burned down the community pool last summer?"
Weevil snorts, rubbing her back in slow, gentle circles. Better than a fizzy soda and an electric blanket. "Ain't something I'm gonna forget, V."
"This summer…? He's rebuilding it."
"You're not serious."
"No, I am. He joined some volunteer group. He said that watching Beaver die put things into perspective for him and he's a brand new man."
"But you liked the old one, didn't you? You liked him jacked up. Needin' a new engine."
She's not sure she should admit that. She's not sure what that says about her. But then again, she's having that thought while sprawled on top of a felon and waiting for their older cop paramour -- lover, boyfriend, fuck buddy -- to show up with a six pack of beer and his handcuffs.
This is her life now. Something that would make Jerry's audience pump their fists and Dr. Phil shake his head in shame. She made her crowded bed and she lies awake in it every night. Because it was so much easier to come back to it than to stay away.
She turns her face into the network of lines and ink on Eli's chest instead of answering. He murmurs, "V, I love you exactly the way you are…original body and interior…and no brakes." And she pretends that's her salvation. Her rationale. And her forgiveness.
***
Of course, Lamb is the one who notices the slight curve to her belly. He's obsessed with her. He notes every change in her, always, and thinks she doesn't know that he sometimes has her tailed when she drives out of town.
So, he presses his hand against the swell of her abdomen and doesn't accuse her of eating one too many Twinkies. He doesn't wonder if she forgot to take some Midol. He just whispers, "Who?" so that Eli won't hear over the noise of the shower.
She laughs -- cries, retches, all of the above -- and makes some insipid joke about waiting eight months to see what color the kid comes out.
Less than two weeks later, it comes out red.
Lamb holds her close as she breaks the glass.
Over and over.
For once, he doesn't have a caustic remark, an insult. He just rests his chin on top of her head and promises it's their secret. Like all the others. Like the fact that he doesn't love her quite enough…and she's come to love him the most.
"There's something wrong with me," she tells him.
"I know, Baby," he sighs, closing his eyes. "I know."
--end--
July 30, 2006