Title: "The Plath Not Taken"
Author: monimala
Fandom: VMars
Rating/Classification: V/Lamb gen, humor, fluff, PG for a little entendre, ficlet.
Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters.
Summary: Fourth in the Between The Rock and a Not-So Hard Place series, this is mostly dialogue, totally plotless, and a little bit dirty.
ring, ring.
"Personal call for you, Sheriff. Line two."
"Thanks, Inga." He cradled the phone between his ear and his shoulder, wondering who the heck was personally calling him at 4:59 p.m. on a Friday. "Lamb," he greeted, with an appropriately irritated tone.
"Happy birthday, Donald!"
Ah, that would be who. He kept the irritation and added a long-suffering sigh. "You know it's not my birthday, Veronica."
"Doesn't matter. I have a present for you anyway. Guess what I have in my hot little hands?"
"Well, I know what the obvious guess would be…but you're not under my desk."
"Oh, ew. Scarred! No, I have the 'Be Cool' DVD."
"You know, I don't think 'Be Cool' falls into the traditional Rock oeuvre."
"You did NOT just say 'oeuvre.'"
"I most definitely did. And, by the way, I think painting yourself as Miss Havisham is a bit premature unless you intend to exact some sort of revenge scheme on the next generation. Who's your Pip?"
"Have you been TiVo-ing 'Jeopardy' again? No, wait…you bought the Cliff's Notes!"
"Actually, I Googled Dickens."
"And again…ew. Keep your personal kinks to yourself. So, your place or mine?"
"Keith's home for the weekend, isn't he? So, you know the answer to that."
"Alright. But I have to tell you, Backup isn't taking the rejection well. You never write, you never call. He's just beside himself. He's threatening to stick his head in an oven…and if you get *that* literary reference I *will* show up under your desk…"
"I'll see you on Sunday at 7, Veronica."
"I'll bring the treats."
click.
He stared at the receiver for a full minute after she hung up, chuckling. "You always do…"
And then he turned to his computer, called up Google, and typed in the words, "Head" and "Oven."
He never could resist a challenge…
--end--
February 27, 2006.