Title: "As Much as I Like Purple"
Rating/Classification: LAid, Lily POV.
Disclaimer: I do not own this character. Nope!
Summary: Lily is a detective.
Notes: This may sound like I'm ripping off Mark Haddon's amazing novel The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and I probably am in a way...mainly because my attempt at Lily's inner voice is a combo of the autistic protagonist in that novel and Leven Rambin's outward portrayal of her.
I see it like a mystery story, where I am the detective who catches the bad guy and solves the puzzle. Aidan is my puzzle. Only he doesn't know it. He knows I am his girlfriend because we talked about it, but him being my puzzle is my secret. A secret isn't the same as a lie. Dani told me that. She said secrets are things you keep because it's better that way and they don't hurt anyone. Lies hurt. I would never hurt Aidan. Just like he would never hurt me. He promised...and a promise is golden. That's what Erica says. I like gold. It doesn't hurt my eyes like red.
I want to know how Aidan works. People aren't like math. They aren't easy. They don't follow rules. But they do have patterns. Aidan has patterns and I all ready know some of them. Like how his mouth turns up when I come to see him. Reggie says I need to start calling that a "smile" so I'm going to try. Aidan looks handsome when he smiles. Dani says that's "off the hook." I have never seen Aidan on a hook, so I would not know.
In my sexual education class, they explained how men and women touch each other. I asked my dad all about it and he got all red in the face like he was mad, but he wasn't mad...just embarrassed. Which means he probably thought about him and Erica having sex and didn't want me to know. That's all right. I didn't ask him about it again. Dad is lucky he has a girlfriend who wants sex. I am lucky to have a boyfriend who doesn't want sex. This is part of how Aidan is a puzzle. Dani and Reggie say that men only want one thing: to get into your pants. I don't understand how since Aidan can't fit in my pants. He is too big. But that's all right. I know that it's a metaphor. I learned that in Language Arts at my old school.
Reggie told me to think of it like a math problem. If a=b and b=c, then a=c. If all men want sex and Aidan is a man, then he wants sex.
But Aidan doesn't want that. So, Reggie and Dani are wrong. Anyway, Reggie is bad at math. And, also, this is not a math problem. It's a mystery. Only without a bad guy that did bad things. Unless you count Jonathan Lavery. Aidan said that he's dangerous and that I should stay away from him. I will stay away unless I can help Aidan. And if Jonathan touches me, I will scream for the police because that is what you do when bad men touch you.
Sometimes, that is what I do when good people touch me, too. Even my dad. I know it makes him sad, but it hurts my head and I have to go some place quiet for maybe twenty minutes so the hurt goes away.
Maybe one day soon I will see if it hurts when Aidan touches my skin. I hope I don't scream and scare him.
I wouldn't want to scream and scare him, because girlfriends don't do that and also because I like him. I like him a lot. That is why I will solve him...because he is my very own puzzle and he gives me things. He gave me green glasses and his coat and he makes my mouth smile.
And because I like him as much as I like purple.
Only, he's better than a color.
He's my boyfriend.
January 28, 2005.