Title: "For I Have Sinned"
Rating/Classification: AC for dark themes, adult situations, angst, Father Mateo gen.
Disclaimer: Disney, ABC, people who aren't me, blah blah blah, etc.
Summary: 600 words. Set during the February 2007 hostage crisis, in between 10 p.m.and 11 p.m. Mr. Craig takes Father Mateo into the wilderness and shows him the riches he could have.
*"Have you ever been tempted…?"*
First, he is asked this. And then he is tested on it. Dragged from the lobby and thrown, mercilessly into this empty office and atop his greatest fear and his greatest need. He braces his palms on either side of her head, just in time to keep from crushing her against the chaise.
"I'm sorry," he gasps, instinctively offering solace. "I am so sorry."
"No," she whispers, shaking her head. And then it rises into a keen. "*No, no, nooo…"
Craig closes the door. The sound is like a gunshot, silencing her even before his bored observation of, "Didn't I tell you to shut up, Miss Spencer?"
Mateo stares down into her frightened eyes. At the woman (barely that) who is trapped beneath him, who smells sharp and sweet like a victim. He remembers a girl he and Manny raped together when they were sixteen. They called her "dulce" and "hermosa," and carved their names on either side of her heart.
Their captor, this cabron (a word too light but he will not speak the darker ones) fixes his silver gun on them, lounging back in a chair like a director. "Go on," he says, with all appearances of kindness. As if he has interrupted their rehearsal and not choreographed the ugly encounter. "Break that vow of chastity, Father, or you'll be administering the poor girl's last rites before the hour is up."
Lulu cries out before remembering to clamp her mouth shut (almost tight enough for her teeth to draw blood) and he has to blind himself to her terror. Against what they both already know is coming. There is no other choice. Not if they are to survive. They have seen the Devil in action. They do not doubt his promises. "I was wrong to pray for your soul," he murmurs towards the chair. "You have no soul."
"Yes, yes. So I've often been told. Do get on with it. I have other guests to attend to."
This time, Mateo does bite off the other words. Fluid and graceful, like Latin for Mass. Lulu is soft and curvy beneath him and he knows it has been years since he's held a woman. Even longer since he's hurt one. *Enjoy it, Teo. Can't you taste her agony? Isn't it delicious? Dulce? Hermosa?* He can hear Manuel in his back of his mind, sliding over his skin like a thousand hot needles and burning ink.
"Father." Lulu shapes the words with her lips but gives them no voice. "Father, please."
Is she pleading for him to go forward or for him to let her die? He does not know. All he knows is that the first girl pleaded, too. She bled and she said, "Por favor."
He is hard in his holy blacks. His collar scratches against his throat. Golden wisps of her hair tease his cheek. He is inches from kissing her, from taking her, from squeezing her neck until her downy skin turns blue. "Please," he tells her, "por favor," and her hips arch involuntarily against his.
And that is when the test ends.
When Craig claps, slowly, mockingly, and quips, "And scene!"
Mateo pauses only a moment, a bittersweet, glorious moment, before he scrambles off the chaise. Before he moves aside to let Lulu bolt for the door. He does not count the tears on her face or listen to her chant of "oh God, oh God, oh God." He simply shuts his eyes and breathes it all in.
And Craig's knowing laughter. So like his own once was.
February 8, 2007.